I took my shirt off only in the dark my fathers hands around my neck gave me the same feeling
as the lover who took over my body—trauma spills all over the sheets lube unwarranted
unmatching for this solemn defeat I lie my worries down & a lover tells me go deep my body is
something to be veiled in the dark do I want your body on mine or do I want the cloak sex gives 
can I be into you if we haven’t shown our wounds to each other since you want to know so 
badly, I can’t tell you how much sex hurts as in reminds me I want things as in describes the
incongruencies of this body to relay my sex to you is to acknowledge my sex the thing that pins 
me to letters with chains with laws names I’m called that aren’t my own I cannot keep my shirt 
on post-surgery as in, I won this body over on the operating table as in, how do you want it 
steaming off my tongue as sweat glistens & drips I want to conquer discover find words for
things me & my lover do that don’t conjure the pain of my people loveliness a thing impossible to
name in this language consent is sexy a phrase repelled by congress & lovers who make sex a
conquest all the things after me don’t exist while we bang make love does love have to have 
something do with it every time I fuck what if my sex is a remnant a remembrance of how far 
I’ve come despite my mother’s hands slapping the counter when she tells me god don’t like it 
does she mean the eye contact the chemistry bringing my lovers up & down this body I paid &
paved to play does she mean the act of biology inevitable as my father being laid down into a
too-early grave